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Father's issues ......


I love watching Game of thrones it is a television series on HBO and its 5th Season very soon on Monday, 13th April 2015 based on a series of books by George R R Martin. It is all about an imaginary kingdom Westeros (which is roughly based on the European kingdoms of the Middle Ages) and it about 7 or more main ruling families or houses and their associated sub-houses or vassals, the psychodynamics and the relationship between them is complex. Scattered among them are some characters who are unique and specific and unlike other television series the good guys do not always win, being good and noble might even put you at a disadvantage.  There was a main character, Ned Stark played by the actor Sean Bean, who was killed towards the end of season one from what seems to be because he was always truthful and honor bound, he held the position of 'The Hand of the King', kind of prime minister. Despite being warned numerous times that he should not trust anybody and when you play the 'game of thrones you win or die, there is no middle ground'. Again and again, those that 'do the right thing' met their deaths, although sometimes a totally evil character who seems to be 'getting away with it' meets their demise - to sort of even things up (at least to show there is justice in that world). Anyway, the reason why I brought this up is that I was watching a review of “Things Fall Apart” by Chinua Achebe. And the main character Okonkwo just mirrors one of the main characters of Game of Thrones - Lord Tywin Lannister.

Lord Tywin Lannister also held the role of the Hand of the King and is the head of one of the seven houses of Westeros with the Targaryens it includes the Lannisters,  Starks,  Baratheons, Greyjoys, Martells,  Tyrells, and  Arryns. Lord Tywin also had a father Lord Tytos Lannister that was kind but very weak like Okonkwo's father - Unoka. Lord Tytos Lannister borrowed money to all his Lords, and they never offered to repay him and his vassals completely openly ignored his orders. It seems like Unoka, Lord Tytos, dislike any form of violence and they were both laughed at and disrespected by a lot of people. A good example of the total disrespect for Lord Tytos was that after he imprisoned one of his vassals, Lord Tarbeck because of disloyalty. In response the wife of Lord Tarbeck in return imprisoned 3 high ranking Lannisters, hence forcing Tytos to release her husband unharmed. Unoka loved music and was always happy either when drinking or playing his flute. Both died horrible deaths Lord Tytos died of a heart attack while climbing stairs to see his mistress, this had a further negative effect on Lord Tywin. Okonkwo father died of a terrible illness which caused massive swelling of his extremities (legs and arms) and his abdomen he was just dumped in the Evil Forest further disgracing his son.

Okonkwo wanted to prove to everybody that he was not like his father who left him with no title, nor deeds, nor land only debts. He seems to over compensate as his life was dominated by the fear of failure. Also similarly Lord Tywin never laughed, especially after the death of his wife and always mistrusted laughter. Okonkwo is a man who is always angry and never seems to laugh also, and when he walks as if he was walking on springs as if he would "pounce on somebody". Also, Okonkwo was a very successful wrestler (he floored Amalinze the cat, the local champion at just 18 years) in this match "the old men agreed was one of the fiercest since the founder of their town engaged a spirit of the wild for 7 days and 7 nights". Okonkwo had risen so suddenly from great poverty and misfortune to be one of the Lords of the clan. The Tarbeck’s rebelled again, the first time around Lord Tywin, had suggested that the cut Lord Tarbeck into 3 pieces each for one Lannister but his father would have none of this. But this with House of Reyne, Lord Tywin had come of age and was about 16, he besieged the Reyne Castle at Castamere, destroyed the rebels and killed every man, woman, and child, leaving those castles desolate, totally obliterating both houses. The lines of both houses ended on that day, leaving their ruin castles as a testimony to show what happens to anyone that is thinking of rebelling against the Lannister house. The Reyne Castle at Castamere was so much destroyed that a travelling singer wrote a song about it and called it "Rains of Castamere", and the song ends with the thrilling words 'But now the rains weep over his hall, with no one there to hear', meaning there is no one living there now, those castles are totally empty, everybody is dead, finish!. And when any other of their houses or vassals was misbehaving or giving Lord Tywin problems, all they need to do is send some singers to sing "Rains of Castamere" as to remind them what could happen to their houses if they continue giving him problems and the houses will relent immediately.

Both Lord Tywin and Okonkwo had serious father issues which affected their behavior throughout their lives. Because their fathers were perceived as weak, timid, funny, etc. and were mocked and laughed at resulted in these men over compensating and making them hard men.  This also affected their lives leading to their violent premature demise and their relationship with their sons (their sons tried everything in their power not to turn out like their fathers). Our fathers affect our behaviors and we as fathers affect our children's behavior, as parents, we have a great responsibility

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