I
was recently at a party of a close friend of mine who just arrived from
Nigeria, and as we were moving from one part of the party to another.
Our host said quite loudly we should leave our plates on the table as
“it’s a woman’s job” to wash and pack them. I noticed that a few of the
men immediately felt very uncomfortable and there was silence all
round. Some of them not willing to offend the hospitality of our host
just smiled or crocked. Others of similar deposition laughed out loud,
displaying all their 32 teeth, with a twinkle in their eyes. While a
particular guy, showing that he was a moral crusader immediately
reacted, stood up and left in disgust, hoping never to be seen or
invited again. The rest of us took a more 'practical approach' as it
seem to us and called the man to order, and after seeing our reaction,
he decided that “it was not a woman’s job” after all, and maybe he had
misinterpret events, we quickly added if he wanted to stay married he
better change his attitude to his wife. "Happy Wife, Happy Life" and we
told him that this is researched backed. Although we did not got to the
extent to add "our dear Mr Kohli's" (of Bride and Prejudice) "No life,
without wife", to some of us that was extreme.
Unlike in Nigeria where you could easily get additional help and in the Western world despite all the gadgets i.e. washing Machine, Dish Washer, etc. housekeeping is still difficult. We “boys”, spent the rest of the party in the kitchen washing and drying the plates, and serving food and drinks. While the ladies were allow to put up their feet for a while, although the women still complained that we did not do it as well as they would, we enjoyed ourselves and felt that we threw in a punch against bigotry and chauvinistic behaviour, and one for feminism, woman’s liberation and equal rights.
There have been an increasing number of divorces among Nigerian couples and few ladies have decided to remain single as a matter of choice. This is previously seen as being rare and in some regions being non-existence is now on the increase year by year. This might be associated with the fact the womenfolk have seen how their mothers were treated and have decided that they would not have any of it. A society that treats womenfolk as an extension of the kitchen, baby making and caring machines, and with roles traditionally associated with the female sex will lose about 50% of their workforce and more than 70% of their goodwill. While their brothers have not seen anything wrong in it, especially if their mothers decided not to confine it their sons. The men in various beer parlours and pepper soup joints across Nigeria, believed that there are a 50/50 relationship where most of them attributed almost every positive thing in their family to themselves and the negative things to their wives. They are the ones that had the knowledge and the foresight to send their children to law school or a particular football club. While the mother spoils the son or daughter who refused to go to school or was left behind, and saying all this in the presence of their young daughters. Who were forming opinions based on their observations. These girls were visually living the emotional abuse of their mothers and decided that they would not have any part of it. But this phenomenon is not restricted to Nigeria alone and throughout the world the divorce rate is on the increase. Because women now are seeing a totally different and better life from their mothers and have seen their potentials. Also those that marry and eventually have children want have lesser children the number of children in the world have reached their peak about 2 billion according to Prof Hans Rosling. Hence, the world population will stabilize towards the end of this century. And it is my fear that we will then have to worry about depopulation a tend that is happening already happening in some Scandinavia countires with decreasing birth rates. The fact is that more opportunities are now open to women and they want to take it with both hands. More girls are being educated than ever in some instances more than boys.
An environment that usually encourages male virility and males are encouraged to sow their wild oats. Also which encourages certain female type of behaviour which is seen as submissive and restrictive, playing second fiddle to males is no more. The incentive to have males which would have provided you labour on your farm and physical strength to do others things is not as strong as it used to be. Now, due to the changes in work patterns and the industrial and computer revolutions where, work and agricultural production is no longer dependent on manual physical strength but more on mental ability. Especially in the Black population where a large proportion of the male population are classified unsuitable wrongly or righty by their women - as they are in jail, homosexual, married, not working, from a different tribe or religion, too short or tall or thin or fat or educated or not educated enough or young or old or funny or serious or black or light or 'just somehow' or 'not just right' etc. To be truth some woman are just looking for reasons to marry and have decided long ago in their subconscious that they are NOT. There is a story of Ms Yasmin Eleby who promised herself that she would marry before 40, and when she didn't because she could not a suitable man, she went ahead away. She did not allow the small issue of not finding a husband spoil her marriage day and married herself.
So what is good for the goose, unfortunately YES and NO. There is a biological clock of both males and females, but it seems to run slower for males. Also while both sexes have roughly similar mental attributes the same cannot be said of physical attributes, on average Males are stronger than females. Although the average Female tends to live longer than her Male counterpart (considering there is good and adequate Maternal Care). Hence a 40 year man having his first child is not the same thing as a 40 year old female. There are much more complications that could have been avoided or prevented if she had stopped to think, and really thought out that if she was considering having her own biological children, she ought to reorder her priorities. However, a 70 year old male having his first child will need to do some long consideration, while a 70 year old female having her own biological child with the present state of technology (minus the fact that she had frozen her eggs 30 years earlier) is impossible. But apart from that what males have achieved the female sex has also and in some instances have exceeded.
Unlike in Nigeria where you could easily get additional help and in the Western world despite all the gadgets i.e. washing Machine, Dish Washer, etc. housekeeping is still difficult. We “boys”, spent the rest of the party in the kitchen washing and drying the plates, and serving food and drinks. While the ladies were allow to put up their feet for a while, although the women still complained that we did not do it as well as they would, we enjoyed ourselves and felt that we threw in a punch against bigotry and chauvinistic behaviour, and one for feminism, woman’s liberation and equal rights.
There have been an increasing number of divorces among Nigerian couples and few ladies have decided to remain single as a matter of choice. This is previously seen as being rare and in some regions being non-existence is now on the increase year by year. This might be associated with the fact the womenfolk have seen how their mothers were treated and have decided that they would not have any of it. A society that treats womenfolk as an extension of the kitchen, baby making and caring machines, and with roles traditionally associated with the female sex will lose about 50% of their workforce and more than 70% of their goodwill. While their brothers have not seen anything wrong in it, especially if their mothers decided not to confine it their sons. The men in various beer parlours and pepper soup joints across Nigeria, believed that there are a 50/50 relationship where most of them attributed almost every positive thing in their family to themselves and the negative things to their wives. They are the ones that had the knowledge and the foresight to send their children to law school or a particular football club. While the mother spoils the son or daughter who refused to go to school or was left behind, and saying all this in the presence of their young daughters. Who were forming opinions based on their observations. These girls were visually living the emotional abuse of their mothers and decided that they would not have any part of it. But this phenomenon is not restricted to Nigeria alone and throughout the world the divorce rate is on the increase. Because women now are seeing a totally different and better life from their mothers and have seen their potentials. Also those that marry and eventually have children want have lesser children the number of children in the world have reached their peak about 2 billion according to Prof Hans Rosling. Hence, the world population will stabilize towards the end of this century. And it is my fear that we will then have to worry about depopulation a tend that is happening already happening in some Scandinavia countires with decreasing birth rates. The fact is that more opportunities are now open to women and they want to take it with both hands. More girls are being educated than ever in some instances more than boys.
An environment that usually encourages male virility and males are encouraged to sow their wild oats. Also which encourages certain female type of behaviour which is seen as submissive and restrictive, playing second fiddle to males is no more. The incentive to have males which would have provided you labour on your farm and physical strength to do others things is not as strong as it used to be. Now, due to the changes in work patterns and the industrial and computer revolutions where, work and agricultural production is no longer dependent on manual physical strength but more on mental ability. Especially in the Black population where a large proportion of the male population are classified unsuitable wrongly or righty by their women - as they are in jail, homosexual, married, not working, from a different tribe or religion, too short or tall or thin or fat or educated or not educated enough or young or old or funny or serious or black or light or 'just somehow' or 'not just right' etc. To be truth some woman are just looking for reasons to marry and have decided long ago in their subconscious that they are NOT. There is a story of Ms Yasmin Eleby who promised herself that she would marry before 40, and when she didn't because she could not a suitable man, she went ahead away. She did not allow the small issue of not finding a husband spoil her marriage day and married herself.
 |
| Ms Yasmin Eleby |
So what is good for the goose, unfortunately YES and NO. There is a biological clock of both males and females, but it seems to run slower for males. Also while both sexes have roughly similar mental attributes the same cannot be said of physical attributes, on average Males are stronger than females. Although the average Female tends to live longer than her Male counterpart (considering there is good and adequate Maternal Care). Hence a 40 year man having his first child is not the same thing as a 40 year old female. There are much more complications that could have been avoided or prevented if she had stopped to think, and really thought out that if she was considering having her own biological children, she ought to reorder her priorities. However, a 70 year old male having his first child will need to do some long consideration, while a 70 year old female having her own biological child with the present state of technology (minus the fact that she had frozen her eggs 30 years earlier) is impossible. But apart from that what males have achieved the female sex has also and in some instances have exceeded.
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